I would like to take this opportunity to respond to a post Asses by my male counterpart (see right for a glimpse of said male counterpart’s ruggedly handsome countenance).
If I may be so bold as to point out that I am female, and as I occasionally find behind me an ass (no, not the Ex, I mean that which is actually attached to me), I find myself at least somewhat fit to respond to e. lucas’ comments regarding the female buttocks.
I agree with many of e. lucas’ fashion suggestions for we females who are fashion-famished. Why, just the other day I was lamenting the lack of bocks and man booty jeans at Saks Fifth Avenue* that would so efficiently do the job that gravity and mother nature will be doing in a few years anyway. Why oh why, I thought to myself as I gazed adoringly at my backside through the six-way dressing room mirror, have I been cursed with these shapely (but which shape I won’t divulge–could be triangular, could be octagon) buttocks?!”
But I have yet to connect these shapely buttocks with my female fertility, a correlation so elegantly attempted by e. lucas. Last time I checked, we didn’t bear children from our asses.
But who knows. It’s been several years since I took Anatomy and Physiology. And my A was dangerously close to an A-. Maybe I missed the lesson on the physiology of the female buttocks. Yes, now that I think about it, I believe that lesson was entitled: “Little Known Uses of the Female Butt: Sometimes, babies pop out of it!” And I was absent that day.
Looking for man booty jeans to hide my shapely figure. 
*Actually it was Ross. But Saks Fifth Avenue makes me sound more ritzy.
