Breakup Sects

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Dear Reader,

We all know how hard breakups can be. However, we rarely acknowledge that there’s a simple way around the pain experienced after a bad breakup. A little example called “logic” will serve to demonstrate my point.

If Breakups = Pain,
and Relationships = Breakups,
Then Relationships ultimately = Pain.

So let’s stop blaming the breakup for our pain. Let’s get to the root of the matter and blame ourselves for having entered into the relationship in the first place! We should have known it would ultimately end in pain.

This is exactly why we need to start having Breakup Sects. Breakup Sects are groups of people who share a common interest in abolishing the self-destructive behavior known as a Relationship. Once you have gone through a particularly painful breakup, you will be eligible to join the Breakup Sect of your choosing. You will be assigned a sponsor who supports you in your journey to permanently remove the harmful act of having a Relationship in your life.

When you develop the self-destructive urge to have a relationship, remember that this is what the Breakup Sects are for! Immediately call your Breakup Sect’s sponsor. He or she will remind you of the logical equation that led you to the realization that Relationships = Pain and will list in alphabetical order the reasons why you turned to Breakup Sects to avoid this certain pain.

I hope that you find my idea of Breakup Sects useful.

–Troi out

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4 Responses

  1. Chris Says:

    You seem kind of cynical. Why is that?

  2. Theron "Oh God" McClure Says:

    Good play on words. . . But the reason breakups = pain is because you are remembering all the good time you had and how you felt that relationship = happiness and you are starting to feel that you are losing that happiness, but in reality that is just your mind playing tricks on you, because after you have experienced a happy moment it is yours forever and you can never lose it.

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