Can’t Find a Better Man?

Dear Readers,

*The individual appearance of each RATboy may vary slightly.

Have you noticed lately that your significant other seems to be monopolizing your time and energy? Are you bored of always spending your time with the same person? Have you ever wished you could rid yourself of your other half*?

*Not your left side. You need that.

Have you hesitated to throw in the monogrammed towels because the boyfriend still comes in handy at couples-friendly events like weddings and parties?

Well, now you can throw in the towel and throw out the boy, with the comfort of knowing a perfect date is just a phone call away!

Thanks to my easy and convenient Rent-A-Temporary Boy (RATBoy) Rental Service, you can revolutionize the way you live your life! RATBOY guarantees the instantaneous elimination of that annoying ESPN sportscaster from your television, an immediate decrease in arguments, and an increased amount of time to spend doing what YOU want to DO!

Here’s how easy RATBoy is to use. Pick up your phone. Dial: 1-800-RATBoys. One of our operators will do a brief intake to collect information regarding your age and location, and will then match you in our database to a list of potential RATBoys. When an event arises that requires you bring a guest, you can rest easy knowing your handsome and clever date is just a phone call away! Simply call RATBoy Rental Service within 24 hours of the event to ensure an age-matched RATBoy in your rental area is available for use.

Just listen to what my devoted clients of RATBoy Rental Service are saying about their experience:

“My old boyfriend was so difficult. But my new RATBoy is so easy to use!” –Anonymous #1

“RATBoy is so convenient, I’ll never go back to an old-fashioned relationship again!” –Anonymous #2

“I needed a date for a party. I called RATBoy Rental Service, and my RATBoy showed up twenty minutes later! Thanks, RATBoy Rental Service!” –Anonymous #3

“I used to have to beg my boyfriend to be seen with me in public! He never wanted to go to parties with me! RATBoy always wants to accompany me!” –-Anonymous #4

Order your free six-week trial of RATBoy now and receive a bonus RATBoy at your next event! Just imagine how you’ll look showing up at that party with a RATBoy on each arm—-you’ll be the envy of every woman there—-they’ll be wishing they could leave their long-term boyfriends for the ease and convenience of a RATBoy!

–Troi out

Disclaimer: RATBoy is not for everyone. Please contact your psychiatrist immediately if you feel pain in your chest from missing your previous long-term boyfriend, or if you experience weight gain or an increase in cholesterol from boredom-induced overeating. Side effects of RATBoy include growing old alone, buying too many cats, talking to your cats with increasing frequency, and the eventual belief that your cats actually care what you have to say. RATBoy is not available for use as a full-time boyfriend.

3 Responses

  1. Marffy Says:

    Have you tried any RATboy service yet? Tell me if it is any good. 😛

  2. Hannah Says:

    I am soo interested. I am hoping I can hook up with RATboy when I get back from California. What are the costs involved?

  3. Asher Says:

    Is there a RATGirl?

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