Eyebrow Waxing: Worse Than The Manicure

So, I come to find out recently that girls are supposed to wax their eyebrows. How it is that I came to be 28 years of age before being informed of this female beauty custom is beyond me. But nonetheless, now that I knew of my duty to keep my eyebrows groomed, I went forth to carry out this duty.

Of course any 28 year old female should know that there are “preferred” places to groom one’s eyebrows. Not I. No, I am deficient in such nuisances as common sense. I brilliantly went to the mall and discovered a salon that offered eyebrow waxing for only $10. In the midst of my extensive student loan repayment, I felt this was the perfect affordable solution to my overendowed eyebrows.Â

What might have been my warning signals at this time? Perhaps that I didn’t even have to make an appointment? Perhaps that when the lady who was to perform the wax (what do you call these people? Eyebrow stylists? Brow professionals? Eyebrow therapists?) walked her previous customer out, I observed that this customer had no eyebrows to speak of??? But indeed I made no such neural connections.

So as my “eyebrow stylist” walked me into the “waxing room” I made a point of telling her I had never been waxed before, that I wanted very natural eyebrows that were just neatened up a bit. My “eyebrow stylist,” a short lady with a thick accent, seemed to understand me, which I gathered from her repeating my comments, “Oh yes natural. Never before? Oh yes, natural good.” Yes, natural is good. So we were on the same page.Â

She had me lie down, and before applying the wax she commented that I had very beautiful eyebrows. In retrospect it’s hard to say why she then chose to remove almost every hair from them!! Nevertheless, after being waxed and tweased (tweasing which caused bleeding I might add!), my eyebrows (or what was left of them) were so eager to run from this place that some of these questions remain unanswered.Â

So, in summary, I find that my experience has taught me some valuable lessons that I would like to share with my friends in hopes that they may learn from my mistakes:

1) Don’t wax your eyebrows. God gave them to you.

2) If you choose to ignore my advice and wax them anyway, don’t do it at the mall. The extra $5 to go to a reputable facility is probably worth it.

3) If you forget suggestions #1 & #2, it may help to recite the 11th commandment:Â “Thou shalt not wax thou’s eyebrows at thy mall.”

–Troi out

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