It Came Upon a Chocolate Bar

Hide this bar from Santa!

The best chocolate treat this Christmas season? I nominate Theo organic fair-trade certified Milk & Cookies milk chocolate bar, and since this is my blog and I’m the only one voting here, the Theo Milk & Cookies bar wins by an overwhelming majority (1 – 0), much like Al Gore received an overwhelming majority of the votes the year George W. Bush won the Presidency.

Imagine a fluffy, sugary shortbread cookie being enveloped in the creamiest chocolate you’ve ever eaten, and then imagine it being made with all-organic ingredients traded at a fair wage so that nobody who contributed to this bar had to go hungry while you savored it. What you’re picturing is the Theo Milk & Cookies bar. Hungry?

Now, the danger intrinsic to this chocolate bar is, of course, in its name. Children who see the Milk & Cookies bar may mistakenly believe this bar is meant for Santa, and will try to leave it out for him on Christmas eve. DON’T DO THIS. As adults, we’re well aware that Santa’s sizable waist holds the kind of fat that poses an increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and insulin resistance, and, while delectable, the Milk & Cookies bar has sugars and fats that are no good for Santa’s belly. And nobody wants to be known as The Kid Who Killed Santa. Eat the Theo Milk & Cookies bar yourself and leave Santa a raw carrot. He’ll thank you after he stops crying.

Merry Christmas!

–Troi out

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