Trekkychick

In a conversation with several married friends this past Saturday, one was recalling a Cereal Date she had back in college with her then boyfriend (now husband).

You may be asking the same thing I did on Saturday: What is a Cereal Date?

Well, my friend explained, during the first few summers of their relationship, she and her boyfriend lived several hours apart. So they would schedule long-distance Cereal Dates, at which time both would eat a bowl of cereal, in their respective cities, at the exact same time.

My friend’s then-boyfriend once went to a movie with his sister that conflicted with one such scheduled Cereal Date. He had to leave the theater and return home to eat cereal. By the time he returned to the theater, the credits were rolling, and to this day he still doesn’t know who the spy who shagged Austin Powers was.

One of my best friends and her now-husband were similarly ridiculous as Young Lovers* back in college. They didn’t eat cereal together, but they were compelled to stay up all night long, night after night, in the dorm “common area,” where they cuddled. Being a night owl at the time, I would frequently pass by the common area and find them on the couch, silent, almost catatonic. At times I thought they were dead. But, somehow, they found sleeplessness in close proximity to be more tolerable than falling asleep in distant dorms nearly 30 yards apart.

*I use this term loosely as they were in love but not actually lovers until the sacred rite of marriage had ensued.

Distance can be painful when you’re a Young Lover** and while I went to great lengths to mock my friend on Saturday, I now would like to rescind all grief I gave her, and promote this idea of a Cereal Date to bring distant lovers together, if not physically, then physiologically through the digestive process. However, I would like to ensure that I fully grasp the concept of a Cereal Date before advocating the notion on the internet.

**I use this term loosely again.

I pose five questions that must be investigated prior to implementing long-distance Cereal Dates. I will wait until I receive responses to each question from my friend the Cereal Dater, and will then post a follow up lesson on the official Cereal Date Policy as it currently stands.

Dear Young Lover*** Maria,

***Now that you’re over 30, do I still call you “young?”

5. If I am having a Cereal Date with my long-distance Lover, do we each need to be eating the same kind of cereal? What if I am eating honey-nut cheerios and my long-distance lover is allergic to peanuts? Can he eat original low-sugar cheerios? Can he eat the generic brand “O’s”?

4. If I discover that my long-distance Lover was eating cereal on our Cereal Date while another person was in the kitchen, do I consider him to be cheating on me?

3. Can I have a Cereal Date with Quaker Instant Oatmeal?

2. If I’m eating my cereal in a ceramic bowl with real silverware, and my long-distance Lover is using a disposable plastic bowl and plastic silverware, does that indicate I’m investing more than he is in the relationship?

1. If I use soy milk in my cereal, and my long-distance Lover uses regular milk, does this mean we’re not compatible?

Thank you, Readers, for going on this thought-provoking Cereal Date journey with me. I look forward to providing you with a conclusion to Cereal Dating in my next post.

–Troi out