Trekkychick

It’s not anonymous.

Everybody is doing it. So expect everybody to find you. Old college friends, your coworkers, your local starbucks barista, your grandma, and the homeless guy holding the sign on the street across from your house are all online too. Don’t worry, you don’t have to date them. In fact I believe it’s illegal to date your grandma. But if she winks at you, wink back. It’s the polite thing to do.

There’s no reason to be ashamed. But if you are, here are five simple tips for fielding the questions you get once you’re ‘outed.’

“That’s not my profile, that’s my evil twin, Roy. He never could get a girl.”
“My sister/brother/best friend/pet hamster created the profile for me. I’ve never actually looked at it.”
“I was looking for a date for my evil twin, Joy. She never could get a guy.”
“I’m an online predator. Are you interested in going out?”
“It’s a shame you found my profile. Now I’m going to have to kill you.” (This is ONLY a threat meant to intimidate! Do not under any circumstances follow with the actual act of killing.)

This concludes our online dating series. I’m sure I have allayed all of your possible fears and made you eager for the adventure that will ensue once you put your romantic future in the hands of the internet. Please refer any questions to my male counterpart, e. lucas. I am all out of answers.

–Troi out