Regarding RATBoys: A Loyal Reader Responds

Dear Readers, you have put up with listening to my most dearly held beliefs regarding dating, cooking eggs, and why you should never cook eggs while dating (wait, I didn’t write that last one, that was just a dream I had). Now on this rare occasion I offer you a brief reprieve from my rants. A loyal Reader sent me the following letter in response to my last post, which, as an unbiased blogger, I felt compelled to share as a guest post. I hope you find his knowledge helpful.

(Really—-I did not write this. Thank you to the dear friend who sent it to me. You are hilarious!)

Dear Troi,

As a long time reader, I have always enjoyed your pithy proverbs, clever witticisms, and honest observations on life. As usual, I eagerly awaited this week’s subject matter, which I assumed from the title would be a celebration of an excellent song from a brilliant band.

But I am shocked and dismayed with this, your latest virtual entry! You’ve always striven to keep from advertising to the general public, (unless, understandably, you would directly benefit from the product, of course). But now? Have you lost your objectivism? Have you sold your journalistic integrity? For shame, I say! This blatant sponsorship of RATboy, avaricious young upstarts that they are, is simply unconscionable. There is an original and far superior organization I must defend; the Men Accompanying Neglected Women (Having Obtained Remuneration Enthusiastically).

As a dedicated member of this esteemed organization, I must provide the public with the education that you have withheld from them. MANW(HORE) is an organization, nay, some would claim it a profession, that is as old as time! In fact, it may be the oldest profession in the world.

Unlike RATboys, MANW(HORE)s offer their services for much less, some for practically nothing! Also unlike RATboys, who need to be called to arrange for service, MANW(HORE)s can be found in every restaurant, bar, and street corner in order to be readily available to any woman at any time. In fact, some members will approach women, even going door to door, to offer their services, simply for the convenience of the customer! They are always agreeable and ready to please; and when the time comes to say goodbye to one, you’ll find another member waiting in line. Yes, those tireless, ubiquitous MANW(HORE)s are far superior to the RATboys, though the membership screening is, admittedly, much less stringent.

So I ask, oh reasonable blogger, that the public be allowed to be fully informed of their choices. Let all women know that no matter what their situation, there will always be a MANW(HORE) ready and available. I am sure that in the future you will return to your objective reporting, or at least reflect a more egalitarian approach to your advertising, and so I remain your most fervent fan.

Sincerely,
G. I. Golo

One Response

  1. theron Says:

    I have tried both the MANW(HORE) and RATBoys services and I must say that RATBoys is the safe and professional choice. MANW(HORE) services are more wild and exciting, but there’s the rub, you never know what you are going to get. With RATBoys you get exactly what you asked for every time. At the same time, I must admit I do still MANW(HORE) it everyone once and awhile. And yes Asher there is a RATGirls, but they are not nearly as much fun as RATBoys or MANW(HORE).

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