Seek a Geek

Dear Single Female Readers,

You may have noticed lately that there is a shortage of eligible single men out there. You’d like to date, but you find that most single males are 1)unattractive , 2) unintelligent, 3) unstable, or 4) underage. Thankfully, single wonderful females (SWFs), there exists a breed of bachelor in an as yet untapped dimension.

That’s right, according to this website, the geek guy is the chic guy. The authors divulge that the geek guy is available, embraced by family members, smart, handy with a toolbox, and won’t be stolen by other women. Perfect! Is there a catch?

There are, warn the wise writers of this article. For one, your geek guy will have limited interpersonal skills due to inexperience, and will thus expect that a woman met in the real world interacts much like the female lead in Star Trek: TNG, Battlestar Galactica, or worse, Firefly. You will need to remind your geek guy that you are not telepathic, a volatile Colonial Viper fighter pilot, or a professional Companion*. Also make sure he knows you are human.

*Not a companion in the traditional sense of the word. Please watch Firefly for further details.

Having once dated a geek guy for nearly four years, I feel the need to convey that, much like you may have at one time have lost yourself in a good movie, your geek guy will lose himself in his computer. By the time he finds himself, he will be 3-5 hours late for your date. Remember that he has many good qualities before condemning him for his tardiness. Remember that being lost in a computer game is more morally sound than being found in another woman’s bedroom.

Now that you’re eager to catch your own geek guy, you might be wondering, SWF, where to find him. I suggest beginning your search at your local Mac store, which is where I found mine. Approach your geeky prey with a look of distress and some piece of broken computer hardware. Intentionally hold it backwards and upside down. A true geek will be unable to resist the urge to correct your grasp to avoid further damage. You might even try intentionally dropping your hardware. All geeks within a 3.14 mile radius will hear the sound and rush toward the focus of destruction with the indomitable urge to preserve the precious parts. Don’t be discouraged if they notice the fallen hardware before they notice you.

It would be remiss not to leave you with one caution before you begin your search for a geekmate. There is the occasional geek who, having wandered for so long in the geekalaxy, that he may have trouble transitioning to the home planet (Geekster’s Dictionary translation: The Real World). If your geek takes off for a Star Trek Convention dressed like Captain Picard, and then comes home still dressed like Captain Picard, and then goes to bed dressed like Captain Picard, and then leaves for work in the morning (still dressed like Captain Picard) mumbling about how he must “Report to the Bridge for Duty,” your geek guy might just be a geek freak, unfit for real human contact.

And remember, please visit this website for an unabbriged treatise on the Geek Guy.

–Troi out

One Response

  1. Ferrel Says:

    Some of us are extremely punctual and wouldn’t stand up a girl even for an MMO! Unless we’re raiding… but that is a given, right?

    You may also hunt geek males on blogs and massive online games! We’re known to roam freely at those locals at a ratio of 25:10:1.

    (25 males on male characters to 10 males on female characters to 1 female on a female character).

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