The Curious Case of People Without Bodies

As a friend and I were getting into my car the other day, he suddenly stopped cold before entering the car. This is not an uncommon reaction for people the first time they see my car. They often can’t find the seat. Or, they see it, but they’re afraid that they’ll have to compete with the mounds trash piled atop it (especially the old moldy food–which I’m saving for a snowy day–because we have those now in Portland) to find space upon which to place their backsides.

However, as I followed my friend’s gaze, I saw that he was gawking, not in horror at the sight of my car’s unsanitary innards, but rather at a sign on a building across the street. It read:

“Integretics: Integrative bodywork for people with bodies”

(Please read the quote several times to appreciate the full effect.)

I could understand my friend’s surprise at reading the sign’s message. One, it contained the word “integretics,” which in fact is not a real word at all. (Seriously, what kind of scroogy gabguy uses saffronious nonwords in their writing??) Moreover, the sign completely excludes people without bodies! And really, who needs nonword Integratic bodywork more than a person who wakes up one day to find his or her entire body missing?!

I find it sad that a person would be excluded from the clinic simply due to a lack of body. A famous person in history once said, “A friend to Every Body is a friend to No Body.” In other words, even if every body has no body, some body at Integretics should tend to some body’s body.

While the Integretics representative could not be reached for comment, which might be because I didn’t try to reach them for comment, I hope that both of my loyal blog readers will consider guiding me to a fuller understanding of why the misspelled medical center is only open to people who have bodies, and not those who do not have bodies.

And please stay tuned for next week’s equally insightful blog post:

“Bloggeretics: Blogging Blogwork for Bloggers with Blogs”

–Troi out

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