Trekkychick

*This post geared toward female audiences

“I don’t think, therefore I am not”

Dear Readers,

I am pleased to announce I have secured a coveted interview with esteemed dating guru, Donna T’Needaman, author of The Evolution of A Man, whose two-paragraph analysis of the male psyche was second on the New York Times Bestseller list only to its stiff competition, The New Religion of the Stars: Socialstudiesology. Donna T’Needaman chose trekkychick.com as her medium for conveying her wisdom about men to the masses because of trekkychick.com’s large (fluctuating between a record high of 12 and 16 readers) and diverse (all live in Portland, all are within the same age range, but all enjoy very different breakfast foods, ranging from hot cereal to cold cereal) audience.

Troi: Donna T’Needaman, did you expect that your completed book would be longer than two paragraphs?

Donna T’Needaman: Actually, it was only one and a half paragraphs. I altered the text and spacing and widened the margins in order to achieve two full paragraphs.

Troi: But, certainly, don’t you think the male psyche is more complex than that?

Donna T’Needaman: Before completing my research, I was hoping that it would be. They always LOOK like they’re thinking about something.

Troi: You mention in the commentary section of your book [that would be paragraph two, for those Readers who've yet to pick up their copy] that your in-depth analysis brought you to the conclusion that you would no longer choose to include the practice of dating in your daily life. Can you expand on this idea?

Donna T’Needaman: Certainly. I don’t need a man to make me crazy. I can be crazy without the help of a man.

Troi: You also suggest, in the epilogue [that would be the last sentence of the second paragraph, for those Readers who are still reading the first paragraph], that nobody has a “perfect person” who is just right for them. Are you suggesting that you don’t believe in the notion of soulmates?

Donna T’Needaman: I believe in the concept of soul-crushing mates. Your soul-crushing mate is the man you fall in love with, who is utterly devoid of the concept of “you” as a being separate and unique who may differ from him in opinion and philosophy. He attempts to change you into his idealized version of you, crushing your soul in the process.

Troi: Donna T’Needaman, rumor has it you’re slated to revise your book with an update soon. What can we be looking forward to?

Donna T’Needaman: Yes, I was going to complete an analysis on the psyche of a pig, and compare and contrast the two psyches. I’m hoping this revised edition adds a full paragraph to the anaylsis, which will really change the look and feel of the book.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, famed author Donna T’Needaman, speaking to humble blogger Troi. If you have any questions for Donna T’Needaman, please direct them to me by way of comment.* Or you can go directly to www.donnatneedaman.com, which is not a real website, but who knows, might be someday.

–Troi out

*The views and opinions stated in this interview are not the opinions of blogger Troi, but the views and opinions of the character created by blogger Troi. Any similarities in views and opinions are an unexpected coincidence.