“this is going to be juicy”
So I recently decided to change out my regular diet of coffee and microbrews for a Breville 800 JEXL Juice Fountain Elite 1000-Watt Juice Extractor. I was in the market for a new diet, and the word on the street was that juicers were incredibly healthy. It turns out the juicer itself isn’t incredibly healthy, which I discovered after trying to bite into it and chipping a tooth, but I’ve come to find that by passing fruits and vegetables through its powerful system, the freshly-extracted juice is quite nutritious.
So far, I use my new Juice Fountain Elite religiously, which means I use it about twice a year, on Easter Sunday and Christmas Eve.
The Juice Fountain Elite boasts a number of benefits that make the other juicers on the playground jealous. Its stainless steel exterior makes it by far the prettiest juicer, and its height (20 inches tall) and weight (nearly 21 pounds) put it in the 98% percentile when compared to other typically-developing juicers within its peer group. My favorite feature is the sizable feed chute. I orginally considered other juicers whose small chutes mandated that fruits and vegetables be cut into smaller segments prior to entering the chute; if you know me or my kitchen skills, you know putting a knife in my hand and asking me to cut something will likely end in my death. The Juice Fountain, on the other hand, is equipped with a chute that effortlessly accommodates large items; whole apples and cucumbers and even a small child slide down the chute with ease.
You might have heard that there are two types of juicers: centrifugal and masticating. A centrifugal juicer creates the juice by way of a high-speed spinning motion (sort of like the spinning galaxy ride at carnivals that creates juice by spinning you so fast that you vomit); a masticating juicer grinds the fruits and vegetables and squishes out the juice (sort of like the chewing motion you create with your teeth before guiding the food toward your pharynx with your tongue). The Juice Fountain Elite is a masticating juicer, which is thought to be more efficient due to its ability to juice at lower speeds. It is also thought to create healthier juice than the centrifugal juicer, which may kill enzymes in the juice through the heat generated by the spinning motion.
I don’t get all of those big words, but I think the juice created by my juicer via mastication is totally yummy, and doesn’t taste at all like it’s already been chewed!
Perhaps the biggest selling point for my new juicer is in its name: The Juice Fountain Elite. We all know it’s tough to earn elite status these days; seems everyone is worthwhile. Having an elite juicer can really set you apart from everybody else. And blogging about your elite juicer can definitely accelerate the process of becoming elite. If you don’t have a blog, try directing conversation with others toward your esteemed juicer whenever possible. “And speaking of the Blazers, I have an elite juicer, and you don’t!”
Speaking of being friendly to others, it’s always nice to be friendly to the earth. I don’t have a compost, which may be related to the fact that I have no garden or yard at my place of residence, but if you can compost your juice pulp and use it in your yard or garden, you’ll be
even more elite! minimizing your negative impact on the earth and improving the health of your garden.