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Troidini & the Great Eggscape

“Honey, why won’t anybody come to dinner??”

Once upon a time, in the faraway land of professional single women who know their way around an office but not an oven, lived, incidentally, a professional single woman named Troidini. Troidini was hungry, and needed to make a meal that would capitalize on her strengths in the kitchen. She knew where her faucet was, and the approximate location of her stove, and so a feast of boiled eggs* it was.

*For my more innocent readers with vegan eyes, substitute “tofu” for “egg” for your reading pleasure.

Troidini began boiling the eggs, and left the kitchen, confident she would return in 5-7 minutes to turn off the burner and put a lid on the pot.

Fifty-seven minutes later, Troidini, sitting in the back room immersed in responding to an email, was jarred by the clamor of an intruder. She grabbed the sharpest weapon in site—-her iPod—-and bravely charged ahead, iPod steeled for combat in attack position (screen forward—-obviously), toward the source of the increasingly frequent blasts.

Troidini’s hallway and living room were clear, but upon entering her kitchen she had to duck for her life as charred chunks of eggs catapulted off her walls and ceiling. Smoke swirled about and eggshells danced along the counter as her dehydrated pot teetered on the brink of death. Troidini set down her weapon—-out of which trickled the tune of Pink’s “I’m a Hazard to Myself”—-and forged ahead into the war zone to turn off the burner amongst the sparks and flying yolks, regretting that she’d decided to boil, not one, not two, not three, but four expensive organic free-range eggs.

The scorched aroma of the Debris Formerly Known as Egg filled the air.

Troidini’s housemate walked into the smoke-filled residence, and said, “Again??

–Troidini out

5 Responses

  1. theron Says:

    Theronious and Troidini are two of a kind. Just like the speed limit. Theronious has an egg timer that he will set. And Theronious knows that he can’t hear the egg timer when he is in the other room. And yet, Theronious still refuses to either; not leave the kitchen or take the egg timer with him. Theronious totally sympathizes with Troidini.

  2. Tina T Says:

    Another very funny post, I can just picture you charging in with the iPod at the ready. I have to say that I love to cook, but I need to set a timer for everything that I cook. If I have two burners going and one thing in the over I will have 3 timers going (although I need to remember which timer was for which item.) For the record, if you boil an egg for about the length of time it will take to listen to 3 songs on your iPod you should be quite safe:-)

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  4. Jimdini Says:

    Housemate?????????????????

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