Yo My Homies,
Do you find yourself fiddling with the radio dial, searching for a song whose lyrics are composed of words found in a standard Merriam-Webster Dictionary? Do you find yourself humming, “Damn, you’re a sexy [chick]” yet you’re not sure to whom you’re actually referring? Are you wanting to stay culturally relevant so that you can interact with younger generations without having to type their every phrase into urbandictionary.com? Are you white?
If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, you may be becoming culturally irrelevent. But don’t hate!* I recommend that you reverse your impending irrelevance by enlisting in my crash course designed to shed light on the linguistically complex nature of today’s rap and hip hop industry, entitled Bringing A Linguistic Light to Existing Rap Songs (BALLERS) 101.
*Never fear!
This introductory course has been created so that my Homies can benefit from my insightful and sightly insight into lyrics that a less educated Homie (such as a Homie who has not yet taken my BALLERS 101 course) might mistake as unsightly.
Strangely, my valuable course has not been picked up by any of the nearby universities, local community colleges, or even clown school, so BALLERS 101 is currently a home study course. I hope my Homies feel at home accessing and reviewing the course material—-presented in a Question and Answer format—-directly from my blog post.
Question: What does “Drop It Like It’s Hot” mean?
Answer: “Drop It Like It’s Hot” is actually a direct reference to me that dates back to December 2009 when I was trying to take a fresh batch of prepackaged cookie dough homemade cookies out of the oven. Being a stranger to my own oven and having only been in my own kitchen twice, I neglected to use oven mitts when removing the cookie sheet from the oven. I dropped it like it’s hot. Because it was.
Question: What does “Let Me See Your Thong Thong Thong Thong Thong” mean?
Answer: As we all know, a thong is a simple type of footwear, more commonly referred to as a flip-flop or a sandal. Many people who hear this lyric have mistakenly assumed that the artist is requesting to see five separate thongs, which for those less mathematically-inclined Homies, would be two pairs of matching thongs, plus a fifth thong whose match has been misplaced. However, as a speech pathologist I can assure you that in fact the artist was experiencing dysfluent speech—-also known as stuttering—-and meant only to say the word “thong” twice, indicating that he wanted to see his girlfriend’s new pair of sandals.
Question: What is a “shorty”?
Answer: A “shorty” is a person who is not tall. There are many reasons one might be a shorty, such as genetics or scoliosis (I was supposed to be a lanky 5’5″ but due to a curved spine my growth was stunted at a wee 5′ 4 3/4″, surely the reason I am still single today as I simply cannot compete with all of those statuesque 5’5″ women who have 1/4″ on me). Another probable etiology of shorty-ness is inadequate calcium intake, which I figured out from all of those informative “Got Milk?” posterboards featuring tall supermodels like Heidi Klum. When referring in their lyrics to people who are short, rap and hip hop artists would have preferred to use a more politically-correct designation. However, they settled on “shorty” because they couldn’t find any words that rhymed with “diminuitive in stature.”
Question: What is a “Baller”?
Answer: The term “Baller” is actually a misspelling of the word “Bawler.” A “Bawler” is an empathetic gentleman so attuned to the emotional needs of those around him that he is sometimes known to shed a tear or two. Those of you who are familiar with Li’l Troy’s song, “Wanna be a Baller [Bawler]” may not have known that his lyrics are expressing his desire to become more in touch with his emotional core.
I hope that having completed my home study course, my Homies feel equipped with a foundational knowledge of some of the most pervasive vocabulary and phrasology of today’s rap and hip hop music.
–Troi out